You may have thought that an affair would be the last straw and that your marriage would be over. But after you found out that your spouse had an affair, you may have decided that you actually do not want to say goodbye to your marriage. Many married couples have weathered the storm of infidelity and have come out stronger.
Allow for Your Emotions to Cool
Marriage does not end because of infidelity, but because of how the couple handles the infidelity. Remain calm and do not make any rash decisions in the heat of the moment. If necessary, go and stay with someone else.
Discuss the Incident Openly
When you feel that the shock is over, contact your spouse to determine if you feel it is time to discuss what has happened. You will need to discuss the details of the infidelity openly. You will need to identify the problems in the relationship that lead to the infidelity in the first place. Your partner may tell you things that he or she is not happy with and these facts may be difficult to hear, but if you take time to process them, the initial shock will likely wear off.
Make Real Changes
One of the most common reasons for a rough patch in a marriage is that couples do not spend enough time together. This leads to the couple losing touch with each other. It may be necessary to take on fewer responsibilities so that you can schedule more time to spend together. Even if you are so busy that you are not able to go on official dates very often, you may be able to find an hour each day to go for a walk together or connect in some other way.
You must keep the lines of communication open and make sure that your partner's actions match with his or her words. For instance, if you are concerned with flirting and your partner promises to stop flirting with others, but actually continues, you should bring this up.
See a Christian Counselor
You will need the assistance of a Christian marriage counselor to help you get through your marriage. Ideally, you should seek a counselor that has helped couples get through issues of infidelity in the past. In addition to using scripture to help overcome infidelity, the counselor will be able to help you stop making the same mistakes in your marriage that have brought you to this point in the first place. (For more information, contact Center For Family Counseling Inc)